Over at RevGalBlogPals the instruction is:
for this Friday Five, please list four ways you have been helped when you didn't want to ask for it and one way you had a chance to help that meant a lot to you.

I am in the middle of a time I am finding difficult at the moment. I am aware that it is possibly my perception of the circumstances rather than the circumstances themselves that is making it hard for me to cope. I am therefore looking particularly at ways I have been helped and encouraged in the current circumstances, not because they have been spectacular but because it is a time in my life when I have needed help and am probably only now waking up to that realisation!

1) unexpected thank you card from someone I listened to a few months ago when they were going through a bad time.
2) a friend who dropped everything and came to listen when I let her know I was struggling.
3) time away at a retreat - although only for 2 days it made a big difference.
4) encouraging comments from people who don't know I am struggling (although may be seeing it I suppose)
5) helping a friend and colleague who is going through a really rough time - and perhaps letting that put some of my troubles in perspective.

A self-centred post I know. But then that is how I am feeling!

Taking Control

I listened to a friend tell me the other day about how she had kindly but firmly dispensed with the services of someone who was going to do something for her but had put such unrealistic demands on her that it was really causing stress for her. I am going to take a leaf out of her book. I am going to take control!
Wish me luck!!

One day

One of the things I am fascinated by in ministry is the variety of work we can be doing. Today I am off to the Mother and Toddlers group this morning, conducting a wedding at lunchtime and visiting this afternoon.
All of these are things I love.

When I was talking to a more experienced minister this week about the "good" things in ministry and said I was conducting a wedding, she looked at me strangely and said that weddings were not her favourite things but if I was happy doing it that was great. It made me realise how fortunate I have been. This is only my second wedding and both of the brides have been mums from the Mothers and Toddlers group. This means that I have not been meeting strangers and going through the motions, but really seeing the excitement building and the plans coming together.

I am also friends with this bride on Facebook so I have seen her excited countdown to today and I know how she is feeling.

As strange as it sounds, I think weddings are often perfunctory (is that the right word??) for ministers as we don't get to know the people involved - merely meet them a couple of times.

This is also true of funerals. We meet the family, often, only once before the funeral and sometimes only once after it. But the meetings are in such intense circumstances that there is often some form of a bond formed - albeit often a temporary one. I also feel that in the sad times I am sometimes able to bring some comfort - and if nothing else guide them on what will happen on the day of the funeral. Practical advice is often what they need as much as spiritual care.

One of the visits this afternoon may be to a family whose son died in as yet unexplained circumstances. And the contrast of going from a wedding celebration to a grieving family is one of the challenges and privileges of ministry. And going to play with babies and visit some of the wonderfully inspiring people in my congregation will be interspersed to help me make these transitions. More than once I have left a house after a visit that was meant to be to comfort or cheer up a parishioner, and have found that I have been the one uplifted by the visit.

So today will be another day of contrasts and the unexpected in among the planned - if the unexpected doesn't overtake the planned! - and that, for this control freak, is much less scary than I thought it would be.

OK, God, bring on today!

Back home

Back from my holidays. Great trip. Great Company. Fantastic food (as my waistline can testify!)

And back in the real world new challenges are waiting. While I was away a wonderful lady in our congregation died suddenly and unexpectedly. All funerals have their challenges but this one will be a particularly difficult one. The whole congregation - and much of the town - are grieving this lovely lady. And this is my first funeral of someone I knew well enough to consider a friend. I know the parish will need some support to cope with this and I hope I will be able to help with that.

I am glad that I have had a time of rejuvenation and re-inspiration to prepare me for this.
And as much as I have enjoyed my fabulous time away (and I am sure there will be more about that anon) I am glad to be back in the community; and after less than a year it really does feel like my community.

May we all be aware of God's hand holding and guiding us through this difficult time.

countdown

4 sleeps until I go off on the big cruise and holiday in New Orleans.
So much to do before I go but the excitement is bubbling under as I work.
I am just back from a conference for those who have now been about a year in ministry. It was such a valuable experience to share with others and to hear their stories. Some of us have faced more challenges than others. Those whose paths have been relatively smooth have come away with a new appreciation of their congregations and their parishes. Those who have had some significant rough patches (and are maybe going through some of those rough patches right now) appreciated the opportunities to share them. A problem shared is a problem halved they say!

But it was also a chance to jsut hang out with those we have got to know to varying extents during the training for ministry. There was laughter and tears. Quiet time and rowdy, boisterous, energetic times. But through it all was a feeling of support and respect.

There were about two-thirds of our year group there. I don't know the reasons the rest didn't come. But I can't help thinking they missed out!

New Year, New theme

A couple of years ago I was reading a blog near the beginning of the year which suggested taking a theme for the year. That year I chose the theme "Dancing with God" and even preached on it and used that sermon as the one I delivered when I was being evaluated for my first charge.
It was a worthwhile exercise for me to have a theme so I am going to try it again.

My theme for 2012 is Balance.
That much touted "Work-life balance" is a big part of that.
But also I feel much of ministry is to some extent like walking on a balance beam. Between the practical and the theological; between keeping people happy and doing what is right; between asking too much or too little of people (and myself).

So I think I will try, for this year at least, to concentrate on keeping the balance!

And on the theme of work-life balance it is 3 weeks today til I go on my RevGals cruise (with added days in New Orleans!)
Can't wait!